"May the sun shines in reflex

May the soul burns in distress(everyday),

And the mind wants some booze,

With the heavy inability to choose

Between the memories that blaze

And that dream which has lost its glaze,

To soothe the flames ignited inside.

The stupid Heart bears the chide(everyday);

But it's stupid enough not to ponder,

Over the fake promises & dreams yonder.

It still prefers to wait for the monsoon

Until her flesh sank into gloom.

It believes he will be back again

And will wet her dried soul then.

Actually, It's all about the stupidity of love

That will make everything numb

Except the heart, to ache

With the scattering flakes.

Yes, it's all about the stupidity of love."

I was in the library that time, busy in copying the notes, when the phone vibrated. I took the phone and saw that a new message had come for my  Personal writing blog on Facebook, "Phoenix". I opened the message, there were only four lines there---

"The heart is tired by the long waiting

Let's the keep the fingers on the strings

Of harp, and let me call the monsoon

For the bird, to alive again from the ashes of gloom."

I was shocked to see the lines. It's actually the reply of my poem "The Waiting", which I had post few hours ago on my page. Who was the sender! I didn't pay heed to the name while opening the message, so then I rolled my eyes on the top of the page and to my great dismay I discovered that the lines had come from someone whose name was Riddhiman Chaterjee. I was shocked, I was shivering because it was something which I had not expected at all. But before I could think anything more a cold palm touched my shoulders. I shouted in shock and everyone in the library looked at me with chide. The man who caused all these took my bag then and dragged me outside the library. 

"What the hell was that?" he asked, "why are you being so absent minded all the time?"

"You suddenly touched me and I was shocked because of that." I vented on him. 

He made a strange sound and said, "whatever, H.O.D was looking for you so I come here."

"Looking for me? Why?"

"Oh please, you are the topper of our college and also the rising poetess. So whom should he call except you!" he chuckled. 

I patted on his shoulder and said, "Don't mock me all the time Shaan."

"I'm not mocking. I'm damm serious. However, relax. Hedu is not just calling you but he was for the entire class to give some last minute suggestions."

Last minute…! The words of Shaan made me startled once again. Was it really the last minute? All the three years had passed so suddenly? I could still visualize the day when I first took admission in this college, and time fled so soon? 

"Oh my poet What are you thinking?" Shann pulled my hair. I patted on his hand and said, "Nothing, let's go."

      Probably our classmates were too busy in preparing for the final exams the they had already gone home. So only we two came to the chamber of our Head of the Department. Sir was quite disheartened by seeing the number of students, "why are you always in such rush that you can't even wait for my call?"

"Come on sir, we are here as you ordered." Shan said to lighten the mood. 

Sir nodded his head and said, "Yes I can see you're the only obedient disciples of mine", sir laughed, "so it's my duty to help you with some last minute suggestions and notes."

'Last minute' the phrase was uttered again and my heart began to buffer again. Was it really the last minute! Was it really the last day of my beloved college life! Was it really the day when I had to leave some works undone? Was it really so? I sighed. Sir noticed me and smiled, "You don't need to sigh. Keep faith in me, I am not so bad as a teacher."

I blushed and tried to control the situation, "No sir it's not like that. Actually I…"

"Okay okay I understand. Now just check your email, I have mailed you the suggestion for eighth paper." 

So I opened the mailbox in hurry and began to check for the mail. But suddenly a chilled air passed through my ears, my pours swelled. I gave an angry look to Shaan, he was standing beside me with an innocent face as he had done nothing. I was irritated. I didn't really know what kind of person he was! Can't he be serious for once! 

My phone rang again, another message from Riddhiman Chaterjee---- 

"I like your words very much. They always touch my heart. Actually I also have a passion for writing. That's why today I couldn't stop myself from replying you. If I did anything wrong please forgive me."

       After the meeting we came to the college canteen. Shaan had to wait for the next two hours for his train. So we decided to wait together and ordered our favorite hakka noodles to pass the time. 

"Shaan…" I called him with a low tone.

"Hmm?" 

"Is it really the last day when we are eating together this hakka noodles of our canteen?"

"Why so dear? You can eat again."

"How?"

"You can eat when you come to collect the admit, you can eat too when you come to collect the marksheet."

"Uff Shaan… you're incorrigible! You are too insensitive to feel anything." I shouted.

"What do you want me to feel?" He asked in a strange tone.

"Nothing. You have to feel nothing. You're… you're disgusting." I turned my face. 

He smiled again and said, "I know I irritate you. I know you don't like me. And obviously why should you! You're such a talented person and a dumb. You must like someone who deserves it, you must like someone who can write beautiful poems like you."

"Shut up just shut up."

"Why?"

"Nothing.

Shaan.."

"Hmm?"

"We will never meet again."

"There is least possibility. You live in one direction and I live in the opposite. There is a very little chance to cross the paths again and to walk in one direction."

How! How can he utter these words so calmly. Didn't he feel anything at all. I didn't utter anything. He smiled again and said, "But I know one thing. Even though our paths cannot cross with each other but oneday I will receive a courrier from your path. A courrier of a book with the autograph of Phoenix."

No sooner than he finished his words I looked at him astonishment, "What?"

"Yes. It's one of my favorite dreams to see your words in print."

"Your dream?"

"Yes. I know I can never be on that height but I want my Phoenix to fly higher and higher in the sky." 

I knew a crazy storm was then going through my heart, I didn't know what to say. My heart was longing to hold his hands and to assure him--- Don't worry, you will also touch the sky soon with your dream of becoming a wildlife photographer. I believe you.

My heart longed but my brain stopped me. I couldn't utter a single word.

        We couldn't realize how the last two hours passed so soon. When we came out from college, there was a cold breeze blowing around. The clouds were floating in the sky. 

"Come on take an auto and rush to the station." I asked to Shaan. 

"But before you take a bus." He replied.

"Come on Shaan I can get a bus anytime but you can't afford to miss this train. If you do so you have to wait for another two hours."

"Chill girl. I will make it."

"But.." before I could complete my words I noticed his eyes, they were red and wetty, "Shaan what happened? Your eyes…!"

"What?"

"Why they're so reddish?"

"Umm it's nothing. It's just tiredness." he tried to wipe his eyes. I didn't know why but I felt like he was lying. Why did his eyes were like this? Was it because of the same reason as mine? 

"Hey Naina where is your scarf?" He asked suddenly.

"Han?" I looked at him with my empty eyes because I was lost at my own thoughts.

"Where is your scarf?" He asked again; and this time I could reply, "I forget to bring it today." 

"Oh you silly girl…" he put off his own muflar and put it on my head, "Take it. Otherwise you'll be caught by the cold wind."

 I was startled, "But what about you?"

"I'm a NCC Cadet. Cold can't bold me." He chuckled. I felt that the storm in my heart was raising again. My voice was almost choked, "How will I return it back?"

"If our paths cross ever…"

Suddenly a bus came and I couldn't find him where he was. I looked around but he was not there. I didn't know what to do then, so I got on the bus. My legs were shivering bitterly. Somehow I managed a seat beside the window. The glass window was locked. I looked outside through it and I found him. The lazy, the callous, the not so serious boy was standing there, looking through the windows with anxiety. I could feel the restlessness in his eyes. Was it for me? 

I tried to unlock the window, I tried hard. But the ticket collector uttered in his harsh voice, "It can't be opened."

"What?" my heart ached. I took out the phone from my bag and dialed a number, "I have got a seat. Now please take an auto and go to the station. Don't be late."

"Relief…" he uttered the word and put down the phone. The storm in my heart was getting more & more restless now. I was about to keep the phone back when  it rang again. Again a message from Riddhiman Chatterjee. Yes, it was that Riddhiman Chatterjee who was once my teenage crush, whom I thought to be my dream man. It was that Riddhiman Chatterjee who once mocked at my poems. For all these years I was bearing a grudge against him. For all these years I was waiting for him to come back to me. And yes, he was then really back to me. But suddenly I realized at that moment that I was feeling nothing for him then--- no crush, no grudge… nothing. 

"The bird can now enjoy the rain everyday as well as the sun. The bird can now fly everyday because she has got her real wings now. Thank you for your response. It was a poem written long ago, now it's just a poem. It has nothing to do with Phoenix herself. Thank you once again."

I sent the message and kept the phone in my bag. It was raining outside and the rain rolled down from my eyes also. I hold the muflar which was hugging my neck, and tried to wipe my eyes. It seemed to me that his warm fingers were wiping my tears while sitting in the train and watching the rain like me. Yes, the untimely monsoon splashed two dried souls.