Grandma’s Teeth

When grandma smiled she had dimples in her cheeks and her large white teeth sparkled.  Actually, they were false teeth.

“Look, a rose has grown in the pot on our windowsill,” said grandma one day. 

She bent down to smell the rose.  An ant who happened to be on the rose crawled into grandma’s nose.

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-chooo!” she sneezed very loudly.  The window panes rattled.  But the ant still tickled her nose.

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-chooooo!”  This was a giant sneeze.  Young Tina’s pigtails flew up and looked like two horns.    But the ant still tickled inside grandma’s nose.

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-chooooooo!” This was a super-giant sneeze.  It made the floor shake, the walls tremble, and – grandma’s false teeth flew out of her mouth!!!  The ant, of course, also flew out of her nose with this giant sneeze. 

Grandma was worried about her teeth.  “My teeth!  Can anybody find my teeth?” 

Mother brought out the broom and swept all the rooms.  She looked under the carpets, under the sofas and tables.  A lizard darted out and looked at mother with its twinkling eyes. Mother shook her head.   Grandma’s teeth were not there.  

Father brought out the ladder.  He climbed up to look on top of the refrigerator.  He looked on top of the cupboards.  He even looked on top of the grandfather’s clock.  But grandma’s teeth were not to be seen anywhere.  All he discovered was a spider was merrily swinging from its silk web. 

Young Tina looked among the cushions on the sofa.  Grandma’s teeth were not there too.  Rajah, their black cat, jumped from under one of the cushions and cried, “Meeaaow!” He did not like being disturbed while he had his siesta.   

The cook looked among the pots and pans in the kitchen.  But grandma’s teeth were not to be seen here, too.  “Squeak, squeak,” called a little mouse that scurried out, swishing its long tail. 

“What shall I do without my teeth?” grandma moaned and groaned. 

“Do not worry,” said mother.  “We shall take you to the dentist this evening for a new set of teeth.  But first things first, let us all have lunch.”

“I am so hungry, I could eat a whole horse,” cried Tina.

While they all sat at the table for lunch grandma sulked and scowled.   She couldn’t bite the puris.  She couldn’t chew on the vegetable stew.  She couldn’t munch on the samosas.  She couldn’t even go crunchy-crunch on her favourite peanut chikki for dessert.  Her stomach rumbled and growled with hunger.  But how could she bite or chew or munch or crunch without teeth? 

All she could have was the sambhar which she poured into a bowl and gulped down as if she were having soup.  

While the family was having their lunch, a black bird landed on the window.    “Coo, coo” it called.

“Mother, this looks like a crow but it says ‘Coo, coo’ instead of ‘caw, caw’.  And it has got big teeth!” exclaimed Tina.  All eyes turned to the bird.  It looked very weird.

“My teeth!!!  That crow has got my teeth in its beak!!!”  Grandma hollered so loudly, the others had to put their hands to their ears to drown her deafening voice.  Rajah ducked deep into the cushions.

Father rolled up a newspaper and waved it at the bird.  But the crow did not let go of grandma’s teeth.  Mother tried to tempt it by offering it some chikki.  That did not help either.  The crow just held onto grandma’s teeth firmly in its mouth and kept calling “Coo, coo”.  It seemed to like having big, white teeth in its mouth.

Grandma took her walking stick from the corner of the room and waved it at the bird.    

The crow flew into the bedroom.  It hopped onto the dressing table and stared at its own reflection in the mirror.  ‘Who could that strange bird be?’ the crow wondered.

It didn’t seem to like the bird that stared back from the mirror.  The crow decided to express its disapproval of the bird.  So, It opened wide its beak and called out to its image in the mirror: “Caa, caa”.  The teeth fell into the face cream jar.  Before the bird could retrieve the set of false teeth from the jar, Grandma was upon it, waving her stick wildly.   The crow dodged Grandma and flew out of the window back to its nest. 

Grandma clapped her hands with joy.  She wore her teeth and smiled from ear to ear at everybody.  “Now I can eat to my heart’s content.”

She sat at the table and gobbled up very quickly all the leftovers of the lunch – samosas, puris, the stew and six pieces of chikki.  And then what do you think happened?

HIC!  HIC!!  HIC!!!

Giant hiccups.  With each hiccup grandma bounced on her chair.  Higher and higher she bounced!!!

“Oh no!” cried Tina.  “Grandma, take care, I hope your teeth do not fly out once again!”